Does anyone else just feel exhausted?

I’m so tired. I’m tired of not getting enough sleep. I’m tired of school. Tired of having no energy to work out. Tired of watching calories. Tired of being tired. I want to have the motivation to go, go, go right now, but I just don’t. I feel like I need a nap!

Lady Gaga Has Pudge Too

Generally, I’m not the kind of person who really gives a crap about celebrities or their habits. That said, I was really impressed with Lady Gaga’s body in her Bad Romance video a few years ago. She was super toned and had a really flat stomach. I figured she’s just naturally thin.

Yahoo News reported on a meat corset she wore today and included this photo:

I’ll be honest, the meat outfit really isn’t what catches my eye about this picture. She clearly has just as much trouble maintaining her super skinny physique as anybody else! In the land of "oh, I eat everything and just can't put on weight" celebrities, this makes me feel a little better.

Also, if you think it's just a bad angle, more pictures from the same concert are here. Her weight has also fluctuated in the past. 

Late Weigh-In

Last Sunday I was 127 at my weigh-in. Yaaay. I’m hoping to be 126 (or preferably less) this Sunday, but we will see.

I’m having trouble balancing school, work, exercise, and getting enough sleep. You’re never too busy for portion control though!

The plan is still to get to 120 and see how I feel. I was 116 before, but I was doing a lot more cardio than weights then, so I don’t know if that’s realistic with extra muscle mass. I dropped down to about 113, but that was a bit too light. We’ll see. I’m just excited it’s coming off.

Today is also day 6 without booze.

I have come to the realization (for the millionth time) that I cannot drink every day and lose weight.

Even drinking just half a bottle of wine each day is too many empty calories and if I'm honest, with my tolerance I'm not even getting a buzz from it. I enjoy drinking and I don't plan to quit, but I think I'm going to quit for now.

Once I take the weight off, I'll see if it's something I can do in moderation, but I would really like to never return to drinking daily as it makes you FAT.

On Disgusting Roommates

This has nothing to do with dieting or alcohol, but it was a rather noteworthy moment in my morning so I thought I'd share with the class.

I live in a house with another couple. They stay in the master bedroom and have a bathroom to themselves. My other half and I do not have a bathroom, but there is a bathroom near our room that we more or less think of as ours.

So, why was her period-stained bloody ass thong on my bathroom floor this morning? Other than the fact that she is disgusting, I'm very confused as to what the thought process leading up to this was.

It wasn't even really near the trash like she tried to toss them in and missed, it was just kind of on the rug.

Should I return it? Should I hang it on her doorknob? Should I leave it next to a spray bottle of OxiClean outside her door? She I ask her boyfriend if he thinks she'd like them back?

If for some reason you want to know exactly what I woke up to:

Fuck You Harry Burnett Reese

I got trashed a little cavalier with my drinking last night, so I was worried I’d have trouble sticking to my diet today. Something about waking up with celery-puke in your hair right before work starts the day off on a weird foot.

But I hate myself. I had 3 peanut butter cups today (among other things). I don’t even eat candy. I seriously never buy candy (even as a treat) because it’s so horrible for you. 110 cals per cup.

I fucking hate having access to food at someone else’s house. I would never buy Reese’s cups for myself, but it’s like if they’re just there my fat evil twin takes over. I’m so irritated with myself. I’m going to be this size forever if I can’t stop indulging. I don’t even get that much pleasure out of food, I don’t know why I do this.

I miss my flat belly I had at 116 pounds so badly. And that’s not even my goal weight because I feel like it’s impossible I was ever so small.

On a more positive note: I started to have those “You already ruined your diet, might as well just eat evvvverrrrything” thoughts and I reminded myself how ridiculous that is and stopped. Had too many calories today, but whatever. At least it was a few hundred too many, not 1,500 too many.

Have you ever been so drunk...

You had to close one eye to see what's going on clearly.Like looking with both eyes makes things hard to see, but covering one eye makes things clear?

I was going to delete this, but maybe I'll leave it here as a reminder to myself that when you're covering one eye to see the TV clearly, the appropriate choice is going to bed, not having another glass.

In Defense of Franzia

I would like to step forward to defend Franzia boxed wine. For about 18 dollars you can get 5 liters of wine which amounts to 6.5 bottles at around 3 dollars a bottle (if my math is correct and it's possible that it is not because I'm on my way to being drunk).

I was re-watching Shameless season 2 the other night (if I'm perfectly honest, it's almost like watching it for the first time because I was under the influence when I initially saw it) and I noticed Fiona and Vi were daytime drinking and having FRANZIA out of plastic tumblers. My first thought was, hell yeah! I totally do this! My second thought: Okay, wait- You're trying to say people ONLY drink Franzia if they're poor and couldn't possibly afford anything else?

Franzia is a very decent alcoholic beverage to have while on a diet and as I said, it's dirt cheap.

From Franzia.com:

Wine - Per 5 ounce serving	Carbs (gm)*	Calories (gm)*	Sodium (gm)*	Sugar (gm)*	Fat (gm)*	Protein (gm)*
Red Wines
Cabernet Sauvignon	5	105	7	1	0	0
Merlot	5	105	7	1	0	0
Chianti	5	95	9	2	0	0
Burgundy(1)	5	100	9	2	0	0
Chillable Red(1)	10	105	8	7	0	0
Fruity Red Sangria(1)	11	110	5	8	0	0
Shiraz(1)	5	110	8	10	0	0
Blush Wines
White Zinfandel	5	105	11	5	0	0
White Merlot	5	110	10	4	0	0
Sunset Blush(1)	7	95	7	5	0	0
White Grenache	8	105	12	5	0	0
White Wines
Chardonnay	5	105	7	1	0	0
Chablis	5	100	8	2	0	0
Refreshing White(1)	6	90	8	3	0	0
Rhine	6	110	10	5	0	0
Crisp White(1)	8	105	8	5	0	0
(1) Table Wine with Natural Flavors *Sulfite maximum is 200 mg/L for all types © 2008 Franzia Winery, Ripon, CA

Clearly, some of the varieties have a shitload of sugar in them. Run far, far away from the Shiraz or the Fruity Red Sangria. 10 grams of sugar? Yikes.

However: The Cabernet Sauvignon, the Merlot, and the Chardonnay have only ONE gram of sugar per 5 oz. serving and just 5 carbs. The Chardonnay is also 13% alcohol by volume and the Merlot and Cabernet Sauvignon are both 12.5%.

I used to be a beer girl, but that stuff might as well be liquid bread. A 12 oz. Red Stripe has 153 calories & 14 grams of carbs. Even the low calorie beers suck. Beck's light, for example, has just 64 calories and 3.9 g carbs, but it's also less than 3.0% alcohol. Which means you'd have to drink approximately fifty bajillion of them to get a buzz.

I really shouldn't be drinking on a diet, but since I'm going to, Franzia is a pretty decent option. Some of the boxes recommend that you chill it, but if you don't have time I definitely recommend just pouring it over ice because that's how classy bitches do it.

http://www.franzia.com/faq-nutrition.shtml
http://www.fatsecret.com/calories-nutrition/red-stripe/jamaican-ale-beer
http://beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/32/22869

Fat Free Greek Yogurt (Plain)

I more or less stay away from yogurt because it has so much sugar in it, but I have to say I loooove Fage Fat Free Plain Greek Yogurt and Chobani Fat Free Plain Greek Yogurt. They are the lowest carb, highest protein yogurts I’ve ever found.

Stats:

In a 6 oz. serving: 100 calories, 18 grams of protein, 7 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of fat.

I love it for:

-Thickening smoothies

-Sweetened with sugar-free sweetener and/or fruit as a dessert

-As a sour cream alternative (it’s really not sweet tasting on its own)

-As a quick, healthy snack.

-To make savory dishes creamier in place of heavy cream

I have to say I really don’t like the varieties with fruit/jam in them because they have a lot more sugar and calories. They’re delicious, but I feel like dumping sugar on top of something healthy kind of defeats the purpose of eating healthy in the first place. I try to never eat anything with added sugar.

High School Is Hell

“Everybody at school today: Omg it’s suicide awareness day you’re all so beautiful, nobody should have to go through that, I don’t understand how anybody could be made to feel like that.

Everybody at school normally: Ew she’s so fat 
Everybody at school normally: Why would you cut yourself lol emo 
Everybody at school normally: Oh you want to kill yourself? Attention seeker
Everybody at school normally: Stupid slut I hope you die 
Everybody at school normally: You’re ugly don’t even look at us”

—

This really has nothing to do with dieting, but I love it because it's so true. Also reminds me of the movie World's Greatest Dad and what a hivemind high school is.

In high school I was simultaneously invisible and horribly picked on (which sounds impossible, but that’s the best way I can think to describe it). Now I’m pretty happy though, so that’s what matters. Well, that and the fact that I’m thinner and more successful than most of them. 

Final Stand: 

Source: z0mbiesss

Wine is Fine, But Liquor is Quicker

I slipped up a bit last night...I started the evening with a glass of wine, but I ended it taking a couple shots of Bacardi. While the shots didn't have that many extra calories, I ended up feeling super snacky and munching on toast with butter (kill me) and pork rinds*. I need to stick. with. wine. That said, I feel relatively slender still and I'm glad I didn't totally binge.

Can't take all the credit though. My boyfriend hid the peanut butter from me and wouldn't let me have it.

*In defense of pork rinds, they are super low-carb (which means they won't make your blood sugar spike and crash later) and do have 7 grams of protein in a serving. A serving has 80 calories. If you stick to an appropriate portion, the fat and protein can help keep you feeling more satisfied than say, 2 fat-free rice cakes for the same amount of calories.

Remember, fat in food does not magically become fat in your body. Excess calories (whether those calories come from steak, yogurt, bananas, granola, muffins, whatever) become fat in your body. 

When Did This Become Hotter Than This

"Can't we all just get along [and discuss this over a beer]?" - Rodney King

I've been seeing this and similar images circulating on Facebook. The basic idea behind this image is that once upon a time "real women had curves" and beauty standards weren't as harsh. This is a fallacy. Women's bodies have always been subject to strict beauty standards.

Marilyn is clearly wearing make-up, we all know blonde was not her natural hair color, Marilyn Monroe was not her real name, and she's totally wearing a body shaper in that picture.

And honestly: I think the woman on the right has an great body and I would rather have that body than have Marilyn's. She doesn't look emaciated to me, she looks fit and sexy. She looks athletic.

Does that mean there is anything wrong with Marilyn's body or women who have bodies like Marilyn's? No. A lot of people do prefer a larger woman. Do today's beauty standards encourage women to be thin? Yes. I think that's problematic because not everyone can be thin and perhaps some people don't even want to be thin, but that doesn't mean we need to pretend thin bodies are ugly to feel better about ourselves.

Women need to support each other, not tear each other down.

I found some interesting pictures people put together as a response to this:

Via YourFaceIsStupid.com

My personal favorite via Know Your Meme.

Alcohol Calorie Counter

Oh, alcohol. If I'm perfectly honest, a big reason it has been tricky for me to lose the weight and keep it off is my drinking. You cannot drink regularly and lose weight.

Booze causes problems with maintaining one's weight for a variety of reasons:

• Alcohol simply contains a bunch of calories (About 65 per 1 oz. hard liquor, about 140 per regular beer, and around 75-80 per 4 oz. of wine, etc.)
  
• Your body burns alcohol for fuel before it burns anything else.
  
• You're more likely to lose your resolve about dieting if you're tipsy.
  
• Alcohol affects the way your body controls its blood sugar levels. This is why you get the drunchies and overeat after drinking/think a McDouble and fries sounds like a good idea at 1 AM.
  
• Alcohol is a diuretic and dehydrates you which leads to water retention the morning after.

This is a pretty decent calorie-counter for alcohol. You can type in how much beer, wine, liquor, etc. you drink per week and find out your extra calories for the month and year. It is from a website called College Drinking Prevention so I was skeptical that the values might be inflated as a scare tactic, but I checked and it's all accurate.

(So, in a month, I'm taking in about 4,200 extra calories from wine because I have 2 glasses of wine a night. That's pretty gross, but on the other hand, I used to take in around the same amount of extra calories from alcohol in a week so it's an improvement.)

Basically, even moderate drinking (what most countries report as healthy for a woman is no more than 2 drinks per night) is not conducive to being skinny and most people I know don't drink moderately anyway.

I really like using the calorie counter to remind myself how many calories I'm saving by not drinking or not having that extra couple drinks at night. It's also good to remind myself how many extra calories I am taking in when I do drink.

I'm working on cutting down even more...it's a process. This post has gotten long enough as it is, so I'll be doing a list of my favorite low-calorie alcoholic drinks & tactics I use to curb drinking later.

Cheese

"Cheese is the devil's plaything." House, M.D.

Going to the gym after breakfast today. Wanted to seriously pig out last night, but didn't. I did have a sugar-free slurpee and a little extra wine, but I don't care because I could have seriously binged.

My dieting tip of the day: If I'm eating pizza (which I generally don't because I think bread is pretty bad for you, but sometimes I get stuck eating it at someone's house), rip off the cheese. Most people don't just top their pizza with veggies, they add cheese, fatty meats, and sometimes more cheese. If I rip the toppings off and limit myself to a slice or two, I'll save a ton of calories.

Sometimes people think this is a little strange, but I usually just tell them I'm sensitive to dairy if they ask. Most pizza is loaded up with way too many calories.

(4 out of 5 skinny alcoholics agree that you can eliminate around a bajllion calories by ripping the toppings off of this mofo)

10 Tips to Avoid Binge Eating

I would like to note that I when I refer to binge-eating and my own issues with binge-eating, I’m only talking about binge-eating, not bingeing and purging.

This is a list of some ways I deal with fighting the urge to binge and I plan to refer back to it when I need motivation (I considered tacking it up on my wall, but I don’t really want anyone seeing it and making assumptions).

Some ways to avoid binge-eating:

1. Ask yourself: Am I actually hungry? If the answer is no, wouldn’t you rather save those calories for when you actually are hungry? I don’t know about anyone else, but scarfing 2,000 calories for breakfast doesn’t keep me full for the rest of the day. It just makes me hate myself for the rest of the day.
   
2. Ask yourself: Am I fixated on one particular food? If you’re fixated on eating a particular food (say, getting a spoon and attacking a jar of Nutella), you’re in binge-mode. If you’re actually hungry, you’ll be open to eating different things.
    
3. Tell yourself: It’s not too late to stop. It doesn’t matter if you ate half a bag of Oreos (which, by the way is 1,575 calories). Finishing the bag is only digging you deeper. This is a big one for me. I’ll eat and eat and eat and then hate myself. But hey, the day is ruined, so why not enjoy it and eat the rest of the bag and some whipped cream while I’m at it? Wrong. It’s never too late to stop the damage.
    
4. Go online and read a weight loss article. Read someone’s blog. Read some inspiration diet quotes. 3 Fat Chicks has some good ones, whether you’re overweight or not.
    
5. Eating too much of anything isn’t good, but if you just need to eat something and you’re about to snap, fill up on any kind of lettuce, spinach, green beans, broccoli, or any other very low-cal, low-carb veggie. Even if you eat the whole bag it’s a far better option than a lot of other things.
    
6. Throw out whatever it is you’re bingeing on. Just throw it in the trash. Squirt dish soap on it if you have to. Just get rid of it. I know it’s a waste, but it’s also wasting your body if you’re going to eat it all.
    
7. Identify what triggers you and don’t keep it in the house. This can be really hard if you live with other people. My roommates keep peanut butter in the cupboard and it drives me fucking nuts because I know as long as I replace it, I can totally eat it. There are other things that I just do not buy (regular nuts, for instance) because I will eat the entire container in one day.**
    
8. Everyone knows this one: Water. I try to drink a full glass of water before    every meal. I don’t as often as I should, but when I do make myself it helps a lot. If I’m thinking about pigging out, I suck down a couple glasses of ice water and it makes me feel full and sloshy and less in the mood to binge.
    
9. Sometimes being way, way too hungry is what leads to a binge. Lately, if I feel like I’ve just waited too long to eat in a reasonably manner, I have something fast like a can of veggies (green beans only have something like 65 cals in a can). Then I drink a glass of water and wait 15 minutes. After that I’m not starving and I can make something with a reasonable portion & calorie count.
    
10. Remember: You’re going to be happier and have more motivation to keep eating correctly tomorrow if you make yourself proud today.

**This is why it really irritates me when people get on me about watching my weight. The only reason they think I’m perfectly fine and need to pig out is because I’m thinner than they are. There are around 800 calories in just one cup of peanuts. If they admitted it’s not healthy for me to eat an entire jar of nuts, they’d have to take a closer look at their own eating habits (which they don’t want to do). 

Ways to Fight Chocolate Cravings

Chocolate cravings can be BRUTAL. I get bad ones, but I don’t even think mine really compare to a lot of people’s. Chocolate in general, if we’re talking about bars/m&ms/ice cream/etc. can be a horrible calorie sink. Some stats:

• (80 calories/8 grams of sugar) in 1 fun-sized Snickers (and personally I don’t know why they call it the “fun” size when it’s like an inch long, but whatever)

• (220 calories/19 g sugar) in a Rich Dark Chocolate Dove Bar

• (200 calories/23 g sugar) in 9 Milk Chocolate Hershey’s Kisses  

One of the ways I nip chocolate cravings in the bud is with unsweetened cocoa powder. Unsweetened cocoa powder is cheap, has only 10 calories per table spoon, and just 1.5 grams of fat. It’s also a good antioxidant, which is awesome.


One recipe I’ve come up with is sort of a chocolate faux-milkshake:

I take about a cup of skim milk, a big handful of ice cubes, 4 tablespoons of cocoa powder, and 2 packets of Equal (or whatever artificial sweetener you prefer) and blend it all up until it’s smooth. That’s it.

You can kind of play with the ingredient amounts to your preference, but the cup of milk (90 cals) and the cocoa powder (40) adds up to 130 calories in all. It’s sweet, cold, and after I eat this I usually feel all chocolated-out and full from the liquid/protein in the milk. You could try just having a fun-sized candy bar and be done with it for fewer calories, I just never feel satisfied after only one. Maybe it’s because candy bars are generally more sugar and fat than actual chocolate?

Walking Doesn’t Merit a Burger & Fries

It seems to me that a lot of people think walking burns way more calories than it actually does. I can’t count the number of times I’ve been out shopping or sightseeing with someone and after walking for 45 minutes they’re in the mood to sit down to a HUGE lunch because they’re exhausted and we’ve burned so many calories.

According to the Calorie Counter on HealthStatus.com, someone my weight (130 lbs.) burns just 304 calories per hour of walking, if they’re walking at 4 mph. I can only speak for myself, but I generally don’t zip around at 4 mph unless I’m very late or on a treadmill, so that’s a generous estimate.

300 calories is about the equivalent of:

42 raw almonds

Three 4 oz. glasses of red wine

2 apples

2 beers

Etc…

Nutrition.About.Com actually has a gallery devoted to pictures of 300 calorie sized servings interestingly enough. My point is, walking for an hour (and we’re still assuming you were walking at a pretty decent speed for leisure activities and not stopping for rest) doesn’t merit sitting down and guzzling 1,000 calories (which a restaurant can easily add up to).

Maybe I’m tired, maybe my feet are sore, but the fact is I really haven’t burned that many calories walking for an hour.

Links:

Calorie Count
http://caloriecount.about.com

About.com: Wine
http://wine.about.com/od/wineandhealth/f/How-Many-Calories-In-Red-Wine.htm

Be Real About Your Calories

It's Thursday, September 6th, and my weigh in is September 11th. My goal is 2 lbs/week. I’m hoping to be 129-128, but we’ll see.

I drank a big cup of coffee this morning and I’m going to have a glass of water before breakfast even though I don’t really want one.

It’s not really hard to abstain from eating, it’s just kind of hard to stop once I start going.

On being honest about your calories:
Most people eat too damn much to meet the weight loss goal they’ve set. A lot of people who have criticized me for being too skinny have been “trying to lose weight” for years and failed. Why? Too much food. You need to take in fewer calories than you burn to lose weight. You can’t go out to eat and gobble up 1,000 calories 3x a day and think you’re going to shed pounds.

A lot of people just don’t know what they’re eating, sometimes due to willful ignorance. I totally did the same thing with beer. I’d drink 40 oz. of high gravity lager each night and not factor in the calories because I just didn’t want to know.

It really irks me when people with awful dietary habits criticize my weight loss and question me about whether or not I’m getting adequate nutrition. Fact is, I was doughy and out of shape when I weigh 135 pounds. I don’t care what the BMI says. I couldn’t run more than 5 minutes and I had little fat rolls on my belly.

But people around me see how overweight they are, what they’re eating, and it’s easier to decide something must be wrong with me because I’ve lost weight.

One relative who was particularly critical of my weight at 118 pounds is quite overweight and has been trying to lose the same 25 pounds for the last 20 years. The reason this person just hasn’t been able to shake the weight is because they eat too much. I’m talking three roughly 1,000 calories meals out to eat in a day, snacks, a cocktail, and ice cream on top of that. All in one day.

We all know someone super thin who doesn’t watch what they eat at all, but that’s really not realistic for most people. If you want to lose weight, you need to be real about how many calories you’re consuming and whether or not that’s conducive to the amount of weight you want to lose.

It's Hard to Talk Weight Loss When You're Already Relatively Thin

When I say hard, please note that I don’t mean ‘death in the family’ hard or ‘chronic illness’ hard or ‘can’t pay the mortgage’ hard. It’s more awkward than anything and can lead to people jumping to conclusions about you.

Right now I weigh about 130 pounds and I’m around 5’8. While I’m aware that is a normal BMI for my height, I’m not happy with my body at this weight (and the body mass index is bullshit anyway). A couple months ago, I weighed 118 pounds and I looooved my body. I was really, really happy with my body for the first time ever.

I decided to start this blog to connect with other people who are working on their weight and fitness and share my own tips and tricks without judgement. I really can’t talk about my weight loss goals with anyone in my personal life (other than my boyfriend), because they don’t get it.

When I weighed 118 pounds, I wasn’t drinking any alcohol, I was eating tons of fruits and veggies, and I was doing cardio every single day. My doctor told me that while I was on the leaner side of things, I was healthy and eating very well.

My family, however, basically accused me of being anorexic and suggested I take cooking classes to learn how to prepare nutritious meals. I really can’t discuss my weight loss/fitness goals with any of them without being criticized. None of them really know anything about weight loss or health and a lot of them are fairly overweight, which I think is part of the reason they don’t support me being thin. If we’re out to eat and I order a chicken salad while they order a burger and fries, they feel like I’m saying something about them (even though I’m not).

So, I’m going to track my progress in this blog and maybe . 12 pounds to go. My goal is 118 by October 16th.