Fuck You Harry Burnett Reese

I got trashed a little cavalier with my drinking last night, so I was worried I’d have trouble sticking to my diet today. Something about waking up with celery-puke in your hair right before work starts the day off on a weird foot.

But I hate myself. I had 3 peanut butter cups today (among other things). I don’t even eat candy. I seriously never buy candy (even as a treat) because it’s so horrible for you. 110 cals per cup.

I fucking hate having access to food at someone else’s house. I would never buy Reese’s cups for myself, but it’s like if they’re just there my fat evil twin takes over. I’m so irritated with myself. I’m going to be this size forever if I can’t stop indulging. I don’t even get that much pleasure out of food, I don’t know why I do this.

I miss my flat belly I had at 116 pounds so badly. And that’s not even my goal weight because I feel like it’s impossible I was ever so small.

On a more positive note: I started to have those “You already ruined your diet, might as well just eat evvvverrrrything” thoughts and I reminded myself how ridiculous that is and stopped. Had too many calories today, but whatever. At least it was a few hundred too many, not 1,500 too many.

Wine is Fine, But Liquor is Quicker

I slipped up a bit last night...I started the evening with a glass of wine, but I ended it taking a couple shots of Bacardi. While the shots didn't have that many extra calories, I ended up feeling super snacky and munching on toast with butter (kill me) and pork rinds*. I need to stick. with. wine. That said, I feel relatively slender still and I'm glad I didn't totally binge.

Can't take all the credit though. My boyfriend hid the peanut butter from me and wouldn't let me have it.

*In defense of pork rinds, they are super low-carb (which means they won't make your blood sugar spike and crash later) and do have 7 grams of protein in a serving. A serving has 80 calories. If you stick to an appropriate portion, the fat and protein can help keep you feeling more satisfied than say, 2 fat-free rice cakes for the same amount of calories.

Remember, fat in food does not magically become fat in your body. Excess calories (whether those calories come from steak, yogurt, bananas, granola, muffins, whatever) become fat in your body.